he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
