I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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