I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have aggressive nipples.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
