Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
