careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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