That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
