We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
