I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
