If i come over, it means nothing
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
