Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
