I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
