I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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