Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
