he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We just shotgunned beers for America
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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