Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
