i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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