if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
