If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
