If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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