Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
