I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
