I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
