Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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