Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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