NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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