we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
