He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
