why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
