This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
