Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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