that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
