I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
