While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize