I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
