Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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