You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
