don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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