Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
