the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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