it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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