feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
