he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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