Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
