I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
