Can Purell be used as lube?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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