I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
