I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
