I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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