she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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