Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize