i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
