Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
