there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
