We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
