My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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