i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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