So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
