when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
