I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
