I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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