how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize