I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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