we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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