Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
