if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
