If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
