right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
