i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize